Kill All The Programmers

Sympathy for and understanding

2011-05-20T04:07:00.004-04:00

One famous Jew made the workflow on its famous web-app:

"some hidden link" ->
App Link ->
Application Profile Page (don't mess it with "Settings" above) ->
Edit Info (The smallest link on a page full of Ads) ->
App Settings (don't mess it with "App Information" above) ->
Web Site

It seems Lars von Trier had been attempting to become FB developer before he said what he is punished for as he would be speaking in communist country.

But i admire ability of representatives of some communities to sell tons of ads on 5 pages just for entering 3-4 setting options. I, poor slavic, would not think out such very good business for all my life.

They did their best

2011-05-12T04:27:00.000-04:00

3 workhours flying away:

The beauty of the "more stable code" is amazing

Another improvement

2011-05-11T07:14:00.006-04:00

It was:


// Application's initialization
Ext.onReady(function() {

    ...

});

and it worked without any problems.

Now they have made it "simpler, faster and stable":


// Register namespaces and their corresponding paths to Ext.Loader
Ext.Loader.setPath({
    'AppName': 'app',
    ... // Other namespaces
});

// Specify a list of classes your application your application needs
Ext.require([
    ...
]);

// Application's initialization
Ext.onReady(function() {

    ...

});

and the result is:

I carry on to state: the authors of perfect software must be killed as soon as possible to do not let them make "improvements"

Shock of debianians

2011-04-22T14:21:00.004-04:00

Typical screaming of of typical user of one of "the best" commercial Linux:

I recently installed 64-bit CentOS 5.3 on my PC. I can't get yum to work. If I run applications > system tools > software updater, i get the following error:

Cannot retrieve repository metadata (repomd.xml) for repository: base. Please verify its path and try again

If i run yum intsall as su from a terminal window I get the following error:

Loaded plugins: fastestmirror
Loading mirror speeds from cached hostfile
* c5-media:
http://mirror.centos.org/centos-5/5.3/os/x86_64/repodata/repomd.xml: [Errno 14] HTTP Error 404: Not Found
Trying other mirror.
Error: Cannot retrieve repository metadata (repomd.xml) for repository: base. Please verify its path and try again
[root@brennan john]#

I left RedHat for sake of Debain in 2002. I wonder how many efforts were made to turn RedHat in this shit since then.

How could they manage things to make packaging system a nightmare?

Amazon EC2 makes me to cry

2011-04-21T05:51:00.003-04:00

Anothere day, another hunging, another "Instance pending" while nobody asked for.

Almost any action causes: "Server.InternalError"

Terrible. Never again.

Another gentle key

2011-04-19T06:36:00.002-04:00

Command-R is used to reload page on Macs. Good people from Oracle assigned it to reload virtual machine on their VirtualBox. Without least warning of course - remember they are Good People.

Amazon EC2 vs Rackspace Cloud Server

2011-04-18T02:20:00.007-04:00

There's no choice for me any more. This morning all my services stopped, workers were crying, DNS has died. It happens. I am far from blaming Amazon for misconfiguration and overloading.

But EC2 instance has neither JavaScript "direct" console to connect a server with no network connection nor console logs. There's nothing to do with it besides plug it off from the outlet. But even this does not help. This is what i am seeing for last 30 minutes:

I understand shutting down can be endless with some good circumstances, but why they in Amazon left me nothing to do with it?

I am not the only who met this exotic situation: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=aws+instance+hang&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8, http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=ec2-stop-instances++force&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Needless to say, AWS command line tool was used without result:

Hm, this is a payment for curiosity. I used Rackspace Cloud servers for the clients and had no least problem for 2 years but wanted to try something new. Now i have it. Or they have me.

Well, ether a time was a cure or secret doubled "-f -f" flag but it stopped. And is not starting once again:

As usual, there's nothing wrong with the volume according to the screens:

Will Amazon pay me back for worktime we have lost?

Good idea

2011-04-15T09:33:00.003-04:00

It would save a lot of medicare bills if there would be a low to free from obligation anybody who kills a programmer what "has improved" the software.

I do not think it would be a tragedy to shoot the Skype programmers who moved PIN-keyboard in new version to nowhere.

What wrong was with old good Skype they changed *everything*? What has they achieved with this "new* interface?

Worse than having no sex

2011-04-14T21:16:00.005-04:00

They say "documentation is like sex: better any than nothing". But there's something what is no sex - "Video tutorials". It is like masturbation indeed - 5-10 minutes wasted for few seconds of useful information. In case if you are lucky to reach it.

Guys from mailchimp.com love to make fun on their clients telling about how to make templates in the video called "Building campaigns". 5 minutes of bla-bla-bla and annoying sound they called music and nothing, nothing! about how to add content to the email.

Well, they have a lot nice PDFs ("Mailchimp for church" included) content of which you can try to guess from their titles and download 3-5 of them just to find an answer. It's a fun.

Eternity of stupidity

2011-04-12T08:24:00.005-04:00

I am ready to pay to listen what the Google Map manager would reply to the question "What language do you suppose to use with your software?"

Reason to keep death penalty

2011-04-12T07:56:00.006-04:00

Execution is absolutely necessary to get rid off morons who make unavoidable pop-ups:

Do you see a way to close "Share/Detail" square? I can not find it for few months.

Sure this software is a champion of crap per byte of code actually. It is close to impossible both save image to disk and find and URL of the image from the history. Menus and hints are closing while you are trying to capture them. Useless thing with crazy out of any good practices interface. Damn the day i paid money for it in silly hope it would be better than free Jing. Oh, now i pardon poor Jing for blaming it was memory consumer.

Google Dump

2011-04-12T07:48:00.003-04:00

What is the reason to hardcode link to my browser inside Google Map reference and moreover who asked them to add russian letters garbage?

We call them condoms

2011-01-04T14:56:00.005-05:00

They can invent problems even it is not impossible to think out any. I do not talk about my number one idiots invention called "guess what window you are in". I even have to admit the number one becomes number two (sorry, Stephen).

Now they made impossible to add line breaks in a text editor. Don't believe? Check it in Google.

I am old boy and know every time there's somebody dumber than the dumbest, but this case looks like to be perfect idiots sample. Serial idiots.

The first idiot was a strange boy who coded str_replace(' ',''). And the second "corrected" him str_replace(' ',' '). So you still can not just add line break to you post. It is extravaganza of human stupidness.

From the other hand it is clear why Microsoft moved to Wordpress - IE-morons found relatives from the same palm-trees.

Another gift from the hell

2010-11-27T18:40:00.004-05:00

Hints! You never know where and when they would appear. In case thew would.

Well the person who invited this very useful to waste time tool might be just a nature mistake. It happens. But what about all of those thousands and thousands so-called programmers who hide the pieces of helpful text all around the windows and make them to appear and disappear when they want?

Yes!

2010-11-27T18:37:00.001-05:00

Most crazy shortcut

2010-11-25T05:54:00.004-05:00

No doubt if there would be the contest the winner who take the first,second and third price would be FireFox with its Backspace key. One hit in wrong place and all your work is lost.

And be sure – they will never remove that, hm, feature, nor even make it optional through the preferences pane. They like to cause heart attack to the people.

Spies

2010-11-23T07:25:00.005-05:00

There's an excellent Australian company what produces best source code i've ever seen and software i used to count as number one in industry. Even the using J2EE as the platform does not make their software another piece of crap like most of the others.

But they obviously have an enemy inside, probably sent by the concurrents. The guy who manages watcher features do his best to ruin Atlassian (this is its name) business.

All people around have been cried for decade about they are not able to add watchers to the just created issues in Atlassian Jira. Even worse it is impossible to notify interesting parties about the issue has been created. Some has to update or comment it to make watchers notified about issue presence. I would not claim the guy as the enemy of Atlassian if the watching of the new issuses was not one of the most requested features not implemented in 3 major releases.

Ok, probably it is Jira only karma.

Let's take a look at their magnificent "the Wiki" Confluence tool. And what would we see there? The same! It is virtually impossible to notify the team about new page or blog post without manually emailing to each worker: "Hey, i am you boss, could not you be so glad to visit the page i've just created and click "Watch it" button? I beg you to do so because i'm going put vital information there. Unless you do it i'll go to you cubic and do it by myself. Thanks all of my one hundred people"

Well, if Stalin would have ruled the Atlassian i know what he had done with that guy.

I gave up

2010-11-09T14:55:00.004-05:00

And even worse, pay attention on dates:

and let's try find them in the inbox:

There ain't no such thing as free lunch. Neither free email hostings. Now i understand why people prefer to pay to zoho.com.

Gestures

2010-11-04T05:06:00.003-04:00

Sometimes just a light movement of fingers above touch pad makes my Firefox tabs to popup and become separate window making my hearth beat 120. I guess these are the famous gestures the programmers think i want to use. It is especially fantastic with beloved Apple's feature "Guess what window you are in"

It seems the reason why most programmers vote for democrats and against handguns is clear.

GMail: dumb and dumber

2010-10-30T07:46:00.001-04:00

Some said i am stupid and Google The Kind especially for me allowed to turn off "Conversation View" in the settings and all my troubles could be solved in easy way. People like to give advises they are not going to follow.

Yes GMail has the setting allowing to turn off View but it does not change moronic brains of their developers: you still can not get count of unread email with Atom Feed, and the worst is what reading one of the email from the thread makes all other email from the same thread marked as read too. It is amazing: get in your mailbox, see tens of unread emails, click on one and you are happy – half of emails become read too - is not it beautiful?

I imagine the project manager of GMail (i believe it is a woman with $1000 glasses) was reported by her geniuses living on the trees "Yes, we allowed to turn conversation feature on and off, see this checkbox - it can be checked on and off, is not it fantastic? Should not we be rewarded for this work?"

Well, let's leave aside that strange idea of the atomic conversation. For some reason they did not support neither XMPP new email notifications nor IMAP IDLE for new emails what labeled with filters and removed from Inbox. WHY? What for they did all that features what can not be used in real life? Who paid them for just announcing the feature what is half- or not working?

Well, labels. Labels seemed to be good idea. Especially for me. I have about 5-7 project managed at time. I have few themes for every projects. I have bunch of developers working on each theme. I have Jira and Crucible notifications per project. Guess how many labels i would have to enlist.

I suppose all Google staff who receive more than 10 email per day use Outlook instead that creature they are trying to sell out.

Theory of relativity: practical unuse

2010-10-29T02:04:00.001-04:00

Now those Google programmers show their out of box thinking: instead of answering how many new emails i have they state "There's one conversaton with some undetermined quantity of unread messages not exceeding two"

Well, it would be their choice – who are we, pure humans, to blame the geniuses? – but this means you can get tons of new messages in the thread without even smallest notice from their "Push Notification": there's no reason for it – you still have the same 6 "conversations with some undetermined quantity of unread messages" – so why to buzz?

And they do not buzz indeed. Even polling gmail notifier who walks through atom feed does not notice any changes.

Turning off conversations does not change anything:

You know: Microsoft was not as bad as we used to say.

Theory of relativity busted

2010-10-28T18:07:00.001-04:00

ex-CEO of eBay talks about the importance of being frugal. For some reason, she scolds Google specifically for the perks it gives its employees. She warns that "there are dangers to creating a perk-filled culture...the free gourmet cafeterias, free haircuts... It can be difficult to adjust people's expectations once they have gotten used to certain indulgences."

The guy is right. Google tends to produce the most inhuman software i ever met.

So, the simple question - "How many new emails do i have?":

Nine as it is said in upper-right? Or 6+3+1+1+1+1+2+1+1=17 as it is shown in the list? Actually no one answer is right. All what you can conclude from their page is "You have 9 some entities (we called them threads) which may contain some unknown quantity of unread email". You can not even answer the question after you open the thread: all of 6 email in the first thread become "unread" as soon as some select the thread.

I am in frustration. What was they they thinking about while did the simple email inbox such crazy thing? Probably about their famous fancy cubicles and new green-red haircut.

Well, it seems to me the Android will go the way of Windows Mobile. Not so many people like to feel themselves fools.

Nothing should be simple

2010-10-23T10:34:00.001-04:00

RSS was invented to make life easier. And it was so. Till Aplle The User Interface has not paid his attention to this.

These are your RSS subscriptions, enjoy:

Where did they come from? How did they get there? Who knows. But another beast called PubSub Agent takes it to eat your bandwidth away
.

Can you just delete this file? Sure! You can. It won't break anything – Apple The Robust will recreate it in next 30 minutes.

Microsoft cries with jealousy.

Theory Of Relativity

2010-10-17T03:55:00.001-04:00

So, how many new emails do i have?

Beautiful day

2010-10-16T16:09:00.001-04:00

So i can not use both logins anymore:

Thank you, Google, i really believe it was impossible to keep functionality i had for years anymore and you always thinking how to make my life full of surprises. I wish many happiness to your famous programmers.